At Some Point, You Wonder
I'm starting to truly wonder how I didn't do well at college in the past. It isn't that hard. You show up, you do the work, you answer some questions. Right now, the hardest problem I'm having is with boredom. I'm taking 4 classes, 3 of which are dull enough to drive one to tears. I'm not sure how many more hours of listening to the pluses and minuses of federalism I can take. It's like watching CSPAN, but you can't get up for a soda and a copy of the New York Times.
I exaggerate of course, but I haven't felt challenged in any of my classes yet. In my Quiz in logic today, I didn't realize that one of the variables was the same on each side of the equation until I was halfway thru the problem. I had to go back to redo it. That was the closest I've come to challenging yet.
I really like my CS class, and I dislike it at the same time. I like the professor, I've enjoyed learning Java, and I love the times when we can get into a good argument about a bit of code. I dislike that I'm paying around $700 to learn nothing I didn't already know. In lab I spend most of my time teaching the TA various programming concepts. Last week it was closures. Seriously.
Don't get me wrong, the TA is a real smart guy, I just have the feeling that he hasn't been exposed to some of the more interesting things going in computer science at the moment. He enjoys are chats so much that he wants me to give a talk to the CS club. I absolutely want to do that - I've even started putting some slides together - but I don't when I'll be able to. The CS class meets during my lecture on federalism.
My place in school is an odd one. I'm older than almost everyone in my classes, but not by all that much. I'm young enough to pass as the same age, but only in looks. I think it gives me a bit of perspective on things. More than anything, it's reminded me of one thing: everyone else is just as insecure as I am. It's a wonderful feeling, like sliding into a warm bed after a long, cold day.
Structure had been missing from my life for the last year, and until it returned I did not know how much I missed it, or needed it. In just having a place I have to be every day, I find myself more energized, alive, and awake. My mind seems to be running at full power for the first time in years. I feel young again, my mind a sponge ready to absorb all the ideas around me. I've been reading at a scary pace: something like 4 books a week. I've started learning haskell, so I can hack on pugs. I've taken an interest in aspect oriented programming.
Saturday, we get together to see Serenity. I haven't been this excited about a movie since Return of The King. A whole bunch of my friends are meeting up in Lansing to see it in a THX theater. I got the Family Guy DVD in today. It isn't bad. It's not mind blowing or anything, just 2 hours of good Family Guy.