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September 15, 2005
Quiz #19: Modern America
1) How will the President be paying for the rebuilding of the gulf coast?
a) withdrawing troops and American monies from Iraq
b) raising taxes
c) cutting into other government programs, such as the Army Corps of Engineers, FDA, EPA, NEA, welfare, social security, medicare, medicaid, dept. of education, HUD (nice irony), Fisheries and Wildlife, the military (never going to happen) and, you guessed it, FEMA.
d) Borrowing from the Chinese and Saudis and inflating the debt.
2) What would most help reduce poverty in America?
a) more and better education
b) more and better social services, such as welfare and HUD
c) cutting taxes
d) giving small business grants so that entrepreneurs (whom, we assume, already know how to read and write) can open small businesses and employ people, whom they don't have to offer health insurance to and can pay mininum wage.
3) Federal government should be:
a) part of a larger social contract with its citizens so that, in exchange for tax dollars, they receive free education, standard health care, a safety net in dire economic circumstances, protection and relief from catastrophic events, funding for sciences to cure diseases and invent technology, safety from the criminal element at home and abroad and everything that is too large for states to handle on their own (protecting enviroment, inspecting food)
b) helping businesses and defending us from our enemies
c) subservant to the states
d) shrunk until it can be drowned a bathtub
4) Whose to blame for Hurricane Katrina?
a) Mother Nature
b) Mother Nature, Ray Nagin and Gov. Blanco
c) Mother Nature, Gov. Blanco and Michael Brown
d) Mother Nature and a governmental philosophy that believes federal government should not be involved in state matters, except when there's a feeding tube, an embryo or school prayer involved and therefore left emergency planning to states and cities incapable by nature of dealing with such massive failures and then focused on paperwork and sexual harrasment seminars instead of immediate relief.
e) All of the above
5) Iraq is:
a) a plan that has been sitting on the shelf of some neocon's office for years, waiting to see the light of day and a complete and total distraction from true matters of terrorism.
b) about oil
c) about removing Saddam from power and away from his WMDs
d) well on it's way to democracy and freedom
e) well on it's way to civil war
6) Osama Bin Ladin is:
a) planning to attack America again
b) in a cave in Afghanistan
c) in an Arby's in Des Moines
d) who's Osama Bin Ladin?
7) George W. Bush is:
a) the worst President since Nixon
b) the worst President since Washington
c) an ignoramus but with a heart in the right place
d) a visionary, whose belief in the Holy Trinity (Christ, Flag and Dollar) will lead America into the 21st century of horrible terrorist attacks, economic blight, oil crisis, rising poverty, decline in education, the trashing of Mother Nature (to which she responds back...), needless and endless war, inability to provide for citizens in crisis, global instability, the rise of China (and we won against the communists?) but Halliburton has got dibs on New Orleans clean-up, so we can all sleep well tonight.
8) A President should be impeached for:
a) high crimes and misdemeanors
b) breaking into rival party's headquarters, laundering money, spying on enemies, breaking into a psychiatrist's office, racism, anti-semitism, bombing Cambodia and then covering most of it up
c) lying to the American public about the reasons for invading another soverign nation
d) lying to the American public about a blow job in the Oval
9) Speaking of which, how much do you wish Bill Clinton were still president?
a) I had problems with him, but he's Gandhi compared to Bush
b) It's the system that's the problem. All we're doing is shuffling deck chairs on the Titanic.
c) I would pray for his return during that mandatory school prayer Bush wants and I'm an athiest.
d) Not at all. They still haven't figured out what happened with Whitewater.
10) America is:
a) a vast mix of people of different races, cultures and religions, unique to the world, governed by a republic.
b) the greatest nation in the world, ever.
c) a capitalist monolith, where big business has the real power and where buying power denotes a person's worth
d) stolen from the Native Americans
Posted by emily at September 15, 2005 10:20 PM
Comments
There's a joke about no child left behind, scantrons, multiple choice tests and this entry. I just don't have it.
Posted by: triv at September 16, 2005 3:57 AM