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March 3, 2005
Deborah Harry Speaks Of The Apocalypse
Some ponder the works of Bob Dylan. "We always feel the same we just sell it from a different point of view." Heads like myself dig on the Robert Hunter wordplay. "One man gathers what another man spills." David Byrne spouts of a few good lines. "We are vain and we are blind." Tom Waits is a man all to himself. "And you can't find your waitress with a Geiger counter."
It may be the moldy grapes, but note how Blondie song titles all spell a certain doom. "Atomic" may be a reference an explosive lover. She may have been thinking of that hot Latino in the leather jacket across the dance floor. But a deeper reading suggests that she was thinking nukes. Note: "You're hair is beautiful." A simple line. Maybe she's being seductive. But maybe she's saying that you have beautiful hair and it's all going to fucking fall out when Russia pops the big one in our laps. It was the seventies, people were concerned about these things.
"The Tide Is High." Yeah, we've seen that on the news the past few months. Debbie, you couldn't have left the discotheque and told all those poor people in Thailand before this happened? Apparently, you are the kind of girl who gives up just like that. "I'm going to be your number one." Before last December, Average Joe thought Tsunami was the green stuff that goes with Sushi. Now he's moving to Kansas 'cause you never know with this feisty planet earth business. So, Tide Is High, I guess you are our number one now. Congrats and try not to do that again, or at least do it to countries that annoy me. Like Orange County, CA.
The mother of all of this...this... complete crap is "Rapture." Fat Charlie knows you watch "The Daily Show" and knows you saw that piece on rapture e-mails. The Rapture literally makes "meek shall inherit the earth" Christians millions. Web sites, books, napkin holders and Happy Meal toys. But when the Rapture comes, they won't be able to enjoy that fucking money, will they? It's all-right, though. Us fine sinners will still be on earth listening to "Fat fine Freddy told me everybody's high." High in heaven, that is. Debbie tells us that there is "Twenty-four hour shopping In Rapture." Especially in Christian bookstores, since the owners will be chowing with Pope Urban up in Neverland. Is shopping your concern during the apocalypse? If your answer is yes, you are not only a Christian but you are a Christian capitalist and you should just go home.
Please, Debbie, write a song called "Oil Crisis" and I'll be praising your manna in Shangri-La.
Posted by emily at March 3, 2005 12:59 AM